Birth Trauma RecoveryResolution and release of feelings of fear and anxiety around your baby's birth - online or face-to-face
IDENTIFYING THE EFFECTS OF BIRTH TRAUMA IS THE FIRST STEP YOU TAKE IN YOUR HEALING JOURNEY. WORKING TO RECOVER FROM IT IS WHAT YOU DO NEXT.
My first birth was traumatic. Actually, it was lots of things: long, slow, frustrating, difficult, exhausting, to name a few. But the feelings I had after the event when I looked back on the whole thing were pretty bad. In many ways, there was no real “reason” to feel upset and emotional about it all.
After all, there hadn’t been any kind of emergency and at no point was the wellbeing of me or my baby in question. So there was no reason that I should have experienced birth trauma.
And yet I came away with feelings of anxiety. Every time I thought about the birth I cried. It took me a good few weeks to bond with my baby. Well, I hadn’t SEEN or FELT him be born he was just sort of handed to me. He didn’t feel like mine.
And when I became pregnant a second time all those feelings came flooding back. I was filled with a sense of fear and dread about my next birth. Let’s face it I was scared shitless!
I had a birth debrief where a midwife talked me through my notes and it only served to give me more information about why, in my mind, it felt like it was so awful. In the end, I resolved to do it differently this time to avoid birth trauma at all costs. I took all sorts of steps to ensure I have a fantastic birth second time around and you can read my full story about this journey here.
In that journey, I learned all about birth. Anatomy, physiology, practical and emotional stuff, statistics, birth positions.
And one of the key things I learned is that FEAR has no place in a “good” birth. Fear is not going to help in any way.
Just as an awesome birth can change your life for the better, so a difficult birth can affect you for years to come. We feel unable to admit the disappointment of not having the birth we wanted and having a healthy baby is really not enough. It is so fantastic that this simple technqiue can be so life-changing to help mums move on difficult experiences and start looking forward to their next birth with joy.Eleanor Hayes
Our society is full of horrifying stories of birth, of distressing images and highly inaccurate or stylised depictions of birth (please PLEASE stop watching One Born Every Minute!). And NONE OF THESE IS HELPING YOU PREPARE FOR BIRTH!!
In fact, even if we commit to only listening to beautiful birth stories and seeing inspiring videos and making plans for a beautiful birth…it can all be completely derailed by fear. Fear of what happened to us in the past. Fear of what has happened to other people. And fear of what might happen to us in our birth.
So what the hell do you do if when you think about your previous birth you get filled with raw emotions of fear and distress? What can you do if you keep reliving the birth, or that when something that happens that reminds you of that birth that you relive the anxiety and panic that you felt at the time? What if it starts to affect your daily life and is definitely affecting your ability to even THINK about let alone prepare for and plan your next birth?
If just thinking about your next birth is just filling you with fear, then it is going to be quite difficult to banish that fear from the birthing room. It is going to be difficult to practice techniques that take you to a place of calm and confidence. It is going to be difficult to achieve a “good” birth let alone an awesome one if that fear has a grip on every
Let me tell you a secret: you are not going mad!
The amazing thing though, is that IT IS NOT JUST YOU GOING MAD! Your feelings of fear about your past and future births are not a millstone around your neck and they can be overcome. And birth trauma and fear can be released in a way that means you don’t have to relive the memories of what happened. You don’t have to go back there.
Can you imagine how you will feel when these emotions of birth trauma and fear are lifted?
Can you imagine how you will be able to plan and prepare for your next birth in a completely different way?
Do you envisage the way that your whole body will be positively affected by this emotional change?
How will your partner notice the differences in you?
What kind of impact will feeling calm and confident and relaxed have on not just your birth, but every day and every aspect of your life?
How can you recognize signs of birth trauma?
Sometimes you are not even aware that you are suffering the effects of birth trauma.
There are certain tell-tale signs that can help you to figure out how you are being affected. Once you have identified the cause of your feelings then you can start taking steps towards birth trauma recovery.
Get a Birth Trauma Checklist to see if you are suffering symptoms of trauma
Download this simple checklist to find out the symptoms of trauma and whether you are affected.
Want to take these techniques even further?
I have a Birth Coaching package where we work together to develop a bespoke coaching programme designed specifically to enable you to get into the perfect headspace for birth so that you can achieve the birth your desire (and deserve).
Coaching can be done in person in Frome, or via Video calls.
Learn all the skills and knowledge you need to have an awesome birth, using this tried and tested method of birth preparation.
Private Antenatal Classes
Create a bespoke antenatal programme to help you prepare for birth in the comfort of your own home with tailor-made content.
Guided Relaxation MP3
Listen to this awesome guided relaxation MP3 on Itunes or Spotify, and just take a moment to stop, breathe and relax.
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Eleanor Hayes: Online Antenatal Teacher and Author
Who am I?
Antenatal teacher, mentor & all-round good egg
I founded Birthzang after having an incredible birth experience that enlightened me that with the right tools and skills at her fingertips, any woman can have a positive birth experience.
I discovered my passion for providing parents with practical and non-fluffy information in my online antenatal workshops and classes about how to cope with pregnancy, labour, birth, and parenthood.